The first and the last
by C774411
Summary: I had to kill him or leave him and take his place with the blade. But there was something that made the choice hard. I loved him more than anything. "That was the first and the last kiss we will ever have" ONESHOT COLLECTION!
1. The first and the last

**The first and the last**

* * *

_The rain started falling as we kissed at our last moment._

_This was meant to be the end of our friendship, but it just made it harder for me to leave. Soul society had decided to make us leave and let the substitute shinigami take care of all._

Three days ago

"Hey, Kuchiki!" a man called me.

"Hey, captain!" I greeted back bowing.

"Always so former… leave that for your brother Rukia. I need to tell you something that may be hard for you." Captain Ukitake said seriously. I had been recently given a seat in his squad.

"What's all about?" I looked at him again and took a hint of what he was talking about. "What's wrong with _him_?"

His eyes closed and he opened his mouth to say something but then closed it. Then he finally said "We've got a new order from central 46. There're two options. Killing the substitute shinigami or leaving him alone forever in Karakura Town however this takes you to take his place on the strand, and he would take your place protecting the city."

I was shocked.

"Wh- You can't do that, and since when we got another central 46?" I cried out.

"Sorry, can't talk about that to low ranks, only captains know about that. I know he is your friend, but orders are orders, and you were chosen to do that mission. If you want, we can send Captain Hi-"

"I'll do it. I involved him in this, and I'll take him away." I said lowering my head so the shadows would cover my tears. But Ukitake taichou noticed anyways.

"You're doing the best Rukia. I know it's hard for you. Just let him go. He is human, you're a dead soul. We need to leave him live his life alone." Ukitake said and left me alone.

"Yes. But is harder now to let him go. Harder because I love him." I murmured to myself. I pictured him, and I blushed.

I went for a hell butterfly and made my way through the senkai door.

While I was walking, I wondered, what the real reason for giving him my power was.

I didn't know him really well. I made him a lot of bad things; I almost killed him the night that my brother and Renji came for me. And if I told him that the decision was from soul society, he would come again for me. And for worst, he would win.

So what option did I have?

I wasn't even good for him. I wasn't enough for him. I was a little rabbit against one hundred hunters.

What could I do?

No second options. No second thoughts.

The gate came to an end and my stomach started hurting me. Was it by the end of my mission, or the fact that I would see him?

I didn't know really. I started making my way towards his house. The house once I called home.

Our happy moments together, flashed through my eyes, with numerous places. But then I saw one very special. The road in the city where I first saw him. The place where I saved him.

Then I kept walking. Finally I reached his house; it looked the same as one week ago. I also remembered here, the day I gave him my powers, and the day I condemn him, I damned him that day.

I felt guilty again. Just one second and a tear started running down my face. Two seconds and my eyes flooded with tears. Three second and the wind started blowing. Four seconds and started raining. Five seconds I watched his window with the light on. Six second I watched his window with the light off. Seven second and I watched his closed window open. Eight seconds and I watched him yelling at me to go with him to not get wet. Nine seconds he was out in his shinigami form. Ten seconds and he was using shunpo. Eleven seconds and he was next to me. Twelve second and his hand were next to my face. Thirteen seconds and his finger touched my eyes and wiped away a tear. Then the time stopped.

My heart pounded each time faster. Every time stronger than the last. I shocked my his hand caressing my face.

"Rukia, what's wrong? Why are you so sad? Did something happen?" He asked, his honey eyes cutting me like a thousand knives.

"Is not something that already happened. It's something that I'm about to do." I said my voice breaking at the end.

"What… are you talking about?" he said getting near to me "The last time I saw you like this, was when you… were… about to…" he stopped and took my hand with his. My body tensed completely. "You're not leaving right?"

"I'm so sorry. It's me. I can't watch you hurt yourself and suffer everyday by the things I did to you. I damned you." I said between sobs.

"But, you wouldn't be like this. Rukia, I know you very well, or at least that I think. I know you're strong and you don't cry by a thing so simple." He said his face close to mine.

My face getting hotter as he got too near, then I answered "Soul society gave me two options Ichigo. One: I'd leave you alone, and every shinigami would leave Karakura to your hands. Or two: Kill you." I said.

He panicked, he shocked, but even in that he'd pulled my face against his chest. He caressed the back of my head.

With the rain we were both really wet. But this was how it should happen.

"I know it's a hard choice Rukia. But we can fight. I fought once and I could-"

"You do not understand Ichigo." I interrupted "There is no second one. They got many problems when you attacked, and now they got the vizards down. You're the only vizard left, and if I give you to them, they'll use the same Kidoh that they used to kill all the other vizards."

"But…"

"But nothing. Sorry, but you can't go anymore to soul society for your own good. Please think about your family, you can't die trying to make me stay. You know that wouldn't be possible. Please stay and don't make things harder."

He pulled me away from the embrace and looked me deep in the eyes. "I'll do whatever you want, just promise me to visit."

"No. I can't come anymore to Karakura, I'm about to be reassigned to a new town with lot of hollows." I didn't say all the truth but he didn't notice.

He didn't reply. He just stared at me. He was so stupid. So hard headed.

He made everything so difficult and yet I loved him. I would die for him. I would sell myself for him.

My heels stopped touching the floor as I tried to take his height. Our faces were next to each other at the same height. Our lips were so close, so close that I felt his breath all over my face. I inhaled his sweet scent as I was near him. I stared deeply at his honey eyes, his perfect face, his perfect nose, and his dainty and gorgeous lips.

Our lips were about to touch but I decided to pull away.

Then I turned around and gave my back to him, I was too embarrassed to look at him. I could feel his eyes staring at my back.

"Why you pulled away?" He asked.

"As a Kuchiki I shouldn't kiss a-"

He cut me off "Do not act in front of me; you do not convince me with your Kuchiki mask."

"I…" I couldn't say it loud.

"Rukia, next time you come, I can swear I'll still love you the same." He said, full of hope that I would come back.

"That's the problem. I won't come back Ichigo. This is the last time you will ever see me." _If you don't see my lifeless body later._ I omitted the last part.

"What… are… you… trying… to say?" He asked afraid of what I said.

"I chose to leave you all. But for the price of my own."

"No… _no…_ **NO!** I won't let you leave! You promised!"

"I promised to take you away from problems like Aizen. That was the promise I made last week. And I'm not breaking it." I said coldly. "Good bye, Ichigo Kurosaki." I said and turned around. Senkai door already open waiting me to go through.

He used shunpo in one second and stood in front of me. "You won't leave." He said and then crushed his lips on mines. We made our kiss as long as we could. Each other knew that we loved. Sparks flied, or at least that I thought, I was like electricity.

But we couldn't contain our necessity. I pulled away from the kiss. His eyes stared at me like a lover that hadn't seen his love in one thousand years. I almost died as I forgot how to breathe with his loving stare. He got closer, and I felt I didn't wanted to be anywhere else more than here. The time stopped again and it was like everything was frozen. He moved and embraced me, only to freeze the time again. Nothing mattered more than this.

When he kissed me, my senses came alive. No guys before made me feel like this. I never kissed anybody and never felt the necessity. His embrace made me feel so secure. I don't know if he noticed that I lost my focus. I've never felt something like this. There was no point to fight this.

"They're waiting me. I've got to go." I said breaking the lovely moment and coming back to the present.

"I love you Rukia." He said.

"I love you too." I said smiling faintly. I looked at him "Sorry, this will be our first and last kiss Ichigo. I won't come back."I said. With one last tear on my face, I turned around and walked through the door.

"The first and the last." He repeated.

My smile faded away as I reached soul society.

Everybody got their happy ending.

Inoue had gotten Uryuu.

Chad found his grandfather in soul society.

Tatsuki dated Renji.

Matsumoto dated with Gin.

Momo dated with Hitsugaya.

Mayuri got a collection of arrancars for his experiments.

Everybody except me and Ichigo.

If I wasn't so blind, I would have seen Ichigo's love for me and I would have done something before.

But now it was late and there was nothing more to be done.

All the captains and vice captains were formed, at the end the Commander Yamamoto waited for me. Sword in hand. Renji and Byakuya weren't present.

"Kuchiki Rukia, what did you decided?" The commander talked.

"I'll die for him. Let him alone." I said.

"Then you know what happens to you right?" He asked

"Yes, and I agree. Please proceed."

"Such a noble sight." He murmured. I kneeled in front of him. He put the tip of the sword in front of my heart. "Any last wish?"

"Don't let him know that I'm dead please." I said begging for my wish to be done.

"We will." He promised and his sword pierced my heart.

My vision started to blur and my body lost its strength. My eye lids became really heavy, so they started closing. I looked everywhere. I looked at every captain. And with my last breath I said "That would be the first and the last kiss we ever had, Ichigo. Sayonara, don't forget me." My eyes closed and everything went dark. I floated all along the dark and I became one more particle of Soul society. A very violet one.

As I watched everything in soul society I saw my body disintegrating and every captain and vice captain crying or their eyes wet.

That was the last thing I saw.

_The last thing._

* * *

So that's the end people. Please review.

You may have noticed some errors. please let me know about them, so I may learn 'cause my main language is not english. I just like writing in english xD


	2. The missing part of me

Summary: Ichigo tries to run as fast as he can, but somehow his speed wasn't enough to save _her_. At the very last moment she decides to tell him everything.

A/N: Hey, if you find any errors let me know so I can change them or correct.

The Missing part of me

The rain never stopped to fall when _his _and _her _sad moments continued to go.

They had a long story where they always said good bye forever to somebody.

She had to say good bye to her brother.

He had to say good bye to his mom.

She had to say good bye to the person she respected and cared for.

He had to say good bye to his sister.

She had to say good bye to her long time friend and lieutenant of sixth squad.

But he suffered the most. He had to say good bye to _her_.

The blood ran all around her, and he was running as fast as he could.

"Rukia, come on, don't close your eyes, it's not your time yet!" He said again and again and again.

"Ichigo, she's gone, I'm sorry I couldn't do more." Inoue said to her friend.

"How did she… die?" Somebody near Ichigo asked.

_Flashback_

_I was fighting Gin while Yoruichi, Kisuke, and my dad fought Aizen. Then I sensed something. I knew it wasn't my end, but it was to somebody near to me._

_I saw Kenpachi and Byakuya fighting the Espada 0 but something went wrong._

"_I NEED TO GO TO HUECO MUNDO! NOW!" I yelled._

_Nobody listened to me, but then a Garganta opened and Ishida was going out. I used that one to go to hueco Mundo._

_Once I was there Byakuya was nearly dead, Rukia kneeling by his side. She was crying, and when I got next to her I saw her eyes darkened. Her orbs where completely black, not as her usual violet._

"_Ichigo... he's gone." She said again and again._

_I took the opportunity and hugged her since I loved her. I loved her more than anything. Then when I didn't expect it, she stopped kneeling and stood in front of the Espada. She unsheathes her sword and stood in defensive stance. The Espada grinned and laughed at her._

_She wasn't in conditions to fight, she'd been hurt a lot fighting the Espada before._

_I started running to protect her but that wasn't enough._

_Yammy swung his zanpakuto and Rukia barely dodged it._

"_Ban-"she cut off by Yammy's feet kicking her._

_He then looked at me and crushed his hand on Rukia. I still hear her screams when Yammy did that. My eyes were filled with tears as I tried to reach Rukia, but everything was so fast. She was so fast now… it seemed to be that I was so slow._

_She looked at me and smiled._

"_Why am I so damn slow?" I shouted still running._

_She grinned and answered "It's because we're far away and I'm faster than you think I am. I've been acting. You know, I'm very good at that." She said mentally to me._

_Some of the things that were really rare about us were that we could hear the thoughts meant to each other._

_When I was at the middle of reaching Rukia, Yammy started laughing as he said "You're still alive, little bitch?"_

_He charged a zero but something stopped him. Then he said "It's not necessary to use that. It would be a waste." He then grasped Rukia and threw her against the floor. Again I heard her screams of pain._

"_**RUKIA!**__" I Shouted as I saw her crushing on the floor. "__**GETSUGA-**__"_

_I cut off by Rukia's clear voice "Ban-kai!" white covered the entire place. A dense mist was all over the place even being the desert._

_Rukia was standing with a white Kimono, angel wings growing for her tiny back. Her zanpakuto was as large as mine but completely white and with the same ribbon, but near the tip of the blade was a violet diamond incrusted._

_Rukia mid turned her head to look at me and her eyes were completely violet. The same violet I liked to see in her eyes, but then it changed to a blue one._

"_Sorry." She'd said and launched to attack._

_It took a few moments for me to realize what she was doing. She wasn't fighting. Nor defending. She was taking time._

_But then the worst happened. Yammy increased the pressure and Rukia kneeled. I wasn't immobilized, but she was too near and I couldn't reach her._

_Yammy charged a zero and fired it to her._

_While the zero crushed on her, her screams of pain were heard all around the place. I couldn't do anything more than watch as Yammy finished her._

_Rukia was falling from the sky. I didn't knew how she'd got her but I assumed that after launching a Zero he'd kicked her and sent her high in the air._

_I couldn't contain anymore, seeing her doing that and not being able to do something, made my hollow go out to protect her._

_In a few second my hollow had destroyed the Espada and I retook the control on my body._

_She was still falling when I took control so before she crushed on the floor I received her in my arms._

_Her eyes were closed and she was panting._

"_Rukia, you're going to be okay." I said, my eyes preparing to cry._

"_Ichigo, don't lie to yourself." She answered. As usually I had expected her to say 'what are you saying? IT'S OBVIOUS THAT I'M GOING TO BE OKAY! WHO YOU THINK YOU'RE TALKING TO?' That was the answer I expected._

"_But…" I said a tear going down my face._

"_Shut up, I don't have much time and I need to tell you a few things." She said trying to smile once more. "I always acted as a weak girl for my brother. I used a seal to retain my power and that sometimes threw me to 'near death' situations. I'm sorry if I've made things hard to you. But I promise you something, if you don't try to kill yourself, soul society will never ever contact you again. Your shinigami duties will be over, and it will be like nothing had happened."_

"_But you said that memory eraser only worked on low reiatsu people." I said afraid to protect myself from her words._

"_Who said something about that, idiot?" She mocked me._

"_Oh shut up!" I said._

"_Oh, strawberry head is mad?" She said with an evil grin on her face._

"_Wait… Did you said something _M-I-D-G-E-T_?" I answered._

_Her eyes shined more than the usual. "Sorry…"_

"_For what?"_

"_I… I've done the worst thing to you… that day…" _

_I interrupted her "That day you did the best thing to me. You gave me the ability to protect people. You gave me the power to protect the people I love, the thing I care for. All thanks to you Rukia."_

"_Ichigo…" She whispered, tears flowing down her eyes. Her eyes starting to close slowly._

_Then I thought that telling her my feelings should be now, because there was not a later moment._

"_Please fight for me. Don't go."I said. My face getting near to her._

_She just looked at me, her eyes mid closed now. She did nothing to pull me away or a sign to say that I shouldn't do that._

_I sensed her cold breath on my face. I brushed her lips and closed my eyes. I pulled away thinking it wasn't the right moment but before I could go far away from her face, she placed her hands behind my neck and pulled me further to kiss her._

_We kissed for first and last time. Need and sadness dominated our kiss as we continued. Her cold tongue fighting for dominance that she couldn't get. I grinned against her lips as she made a sound of disgust by her lack of strength to fight for dominance._

_When I pulled away she was almost closing her eyes. I took hold of her hand, noticing her low corporal temperature. She was going to die, and I couldn't do anything. My face went hard with the fact, and my grinning face changed to one of pain and angst._

"_I love you, Ichigo." She said giving me her last smile._

"_I love you too, Rukia" I answered her trying to smile back._

"_Sayonara, Ich-" her dainty hand dropped to lose and her eyes closed._

_She couldn't finish her good bye. I couldn't say good bye to her. And for worst, when I realized she also loved me, she would go away._

_I couldn't live without you. Not without the love of my life._


End file.
